Now, I’m Grateful of being Me

“Life isn’t perfect. You can’t control what’s gonna happen in your life. You can’t pick what you get, you can’t choose who you were born as. The only thing you can control is how to react to it.”

Trust me, life is about perspective. You can choose how your day gonna looks like, and you can determine the way you see your problem. Seeing your failure through the eyes of love can create a big impact on your life.

Today, let me tell you my story about how I’ve changed my perspective and getting more gratitude with my life especially things I can’t control with.

I was not born as a pretty good person. I was a fool, I lost so many times, I failed at anything, I was worthless, I was too far from what people usually say as “good”.

I lived behind the fear of everything, I woke up with anxiety, I hated me. A lot. I blamed myself for every bad luck I’ve ever had. Even though I know, it was something I can’t control, and I know perfectly I was not asking to born to be like this.

I was really jealous when I see other people can be great effortlessly. They look never scared of being not perfect, they are born to be majestic. It made me really suck.

Even my best wasn’t enough.

It hurts.

One day, I realized that I couldn’t settle forever. I must change. I sat down and trying to see all of them from another perspective. Day by day. It takes time, but finally, I realize, my failure drives me to walk until this far. I’m much better than 3 years ago. I fall so much time, but it means I have so many chances to learn. I’ve gone so far from my comfort zone, now I live out of my field. but see? I still survive.

Today I conscious that I have more chances to grow than others. From every pain I met in the past, now I have more ability to live with them. I’ve grown so much, I have so many things to learn from my past.

And now, I feel grateful for being not good enough. I’m better than “the born perfectly person”. I can live with pain much better than them, and I’ve grown more than them.

I was a coward, but I’m much better now. Today, I’ve learned, life has so many different perspectives. How my life looks like depends on which one I believe.

– Auru


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